


love is patient, love is kind

by eugeneshelton



Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluffy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Acceptance, Soft Boys, autistic snafu, meltdown aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26515708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eugeneshelton/pseuds/eugeneshelton
Summary: snafu has a meltdown. eugene is there to remind him he's not alone.
Relationships: Merriell "Snafu" Shelton/Eugene Sledge
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	love is patient, love is kind

_This isn't fair. This isn't right. This is - **I am** \- so fucked up._

Merriell hit the back of his head against the tiled bathroom wall. He pulled his knees up to his chest, sitting in the corner. Alone. _Fucking pathetic._ How could he even think that it wouldn't end like this? That he wouldn't break down and ruin everything? Ruining his own life wasn't unusual - he had an odd penchant to wasting any potential chance he was given. But ruining Eugene's life? Eugene, who never said anything about his fidgeting, who adjusted to all his weird routines, who didn't question his attachment to numerous knick-knacks that served no purpose. Gene. His boyfriend. That innocent ornithology student, bright and full of promise, who didn't deserve the mess that Snafu was.

Merriell buried his head in his hands, rocking back and forth, trying his best not to scream. He hated his meltdowns. He hated himself. This was the part that nobody could stand - except Eugene. His boyfriend. Shelton continued rocking, tears streaming down his face. His forearms were scratched almost raw. He won't be able to hide this.

This is it. This is the truth - _situation normal_. And now Eugene's gonna learn exactly where that nickname came from. 

The sound of a key turning in the lock, loud as thunder in the empty apartment, broke the silence.

“I’m home,” Sledge announced as he walked in, completely unaware. He paused. Usually his boyfriend sprung up from his spot on the couch to give him a hug as soon as he came home.

The apartment was eerily silent, which made it seem bigger than it actually was. Almost desolate, save for the nervous shuffling coming from the bathroom.

“Merriell?” he called out softly, knocking gently on the door. It opened up a crack, which Eugene took as an invitation to come inside.

His boyfriend looked up at him from the floor, bright red scratches wrapping around his forearms, cheeks marked by drying tears. There was guilt in his eyes as he looked down at his feet, curling up around himself again.

“‘m sorry,” he muttered. “Didn't want you to find out like this…”

Sledge kneeled down and wrapped his hand around Merriell's.

“Find out what, Mer?” he asked, frowning.

Shelton took a deep, shuddering breath. He couldn't shut down, not now.

“I have autism.” He looked away, ashamed. “Didn't want to tell you, ‘cause I was worried it would… change things. And I didn't want it to.” Gene's hand on his shoulder reassured him.

“Why would it change anything, darlin’?” The redhead wrapped an arm against Snafu’s shoulders.

“Dunno. It just would. When people hear, they treat me like I’m stupid. Sometimes they talk to me like I’m a child, sometimes they make fun of me. Don't know which is worse. So I learned how to hide things. But I couldn't hide…” He gestured vaguely to his arms. “This. This is me. And I didn't want you to see it.”

Eugene just hugged him tighter in response, slowly rubbing circles into his back. Merriell rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder and sighed. It could've gone worse.

“Y'know,” Eugene started, “you don't have to hide anything anymore. You're my boyfriend, and I love every part of you. Even the ones you hate.” He cupped Snafu's cheek. “This doesn't change a thing. I love you just as much as I did before.”

Merriell broke down. He buried his head in Sledge’s chest, wrapping his arms tighter around his waist.

“‘m sorry. Fuck, I’m so _sorry_.” He was sobbing again, this time with both relief and regret. Eugene pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head and slowly rocked them both back and forth.

“It's okay. Everything’s alright, angel,” he whispered. “Do your arms hurt?”

Snafu shook his head and sniffed.

“You want me to help you clean up?” Eugene asked, his expression open and caring.

Snafu nodded in response, slowly pulling himself up. They walked up to the sink together, Sledge letting his boyfriend hold himself up against him.

Merriell was tired. First the meltdown, then the confession. At least now he could finally let it go. He rested his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the feeling - the warm, familiar scent, the softness of the Auburn hoodie. Sledge must have noticed, because as soon as he was done patting Snafu’s arms dry, he took the hoodie off and offered it to him. Merriell put it on immediately and, enveloped in the cosy, soft feeling, pulled the redhead in for a hug. 

They got to the bedroom, still holding each other close. Shelton was absolutely exhausted - he collapsed unceremoniously on the bed and curled up, clutching a soft, flannel blanket. Eugene followed suit after setting a bottle of cool water on a bedside table, just in case. He pressed his chest to Merriell’s back and laced their hands together.

Snafu felt safe - warm and soft, his boyfriend’s heartbeat against his back, the afternoon sun basking the bedroom in an orange glow. He turned around and softly cupped Eugene’s cheeks.

They simply lay together, enjoying the peace and quiet. Shelton counted the freckles peppering his boyfriend’s face, trying to memorise the exact color and placement of each individual one. He could feel Sledge smile against his palm, his cheeks getting warmer with a blush. He pulled them closer to each other, their lips locking in a soft, loving kiss. They parted slowly, the tips of their noses brushing.

“Genie?” Merriell said quietly after a while.

“What is it, darlin’?”

“I love you.” He pressed his head to Eugene's chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. “I love you a whole lot.”

Sledge smiled in reply, his brown eyes soft as he looked down at his boyfriend. He carded his fingers through Merriell’s dark curls, his smile widening when he heard the other boy purr contentedly.

“I love you too. Every part of you.”

And he did. Truly and unconditionally.

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on how i experience meltdowns as an autistic person, and what i need/want afterwards. so yeah, another self-indulgent fic from yours truly.


End file.
